25 September 1988: Seoul, I Hear You Calling

1. The Hollies: He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother
2. Phil Collins: Groovy Kind of Love
3. U2: Desire
4. Womack & Womack: Teardrops
5. Bill Withers: Lovely Day [sunshine mix]
6. Jason Donovan: Nothing Can Divide Us
7. Pet Shop Boys: Domino Dancing
8. Whitney Houston: One Moment in Time
9. Inner City: Big Fun
10. Rick Astley: She Wants to Dance with Me
11. The Proclaimers: I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)
12. Yello: The Race
13. The Pasadenas: Riding on a Train
14. Bros: I Quit
15. Gloria Estefan & Miami Sound Machine: Anything for You
16. Yazz & The Plastic Population: The Only Way Is Up
17. Bon Jovi: Bad Medicine
18. The Commodores: Easy
19. Erasure: A Little Respect
20. Duran Duran: I Don't Want Your Love
21. Bomb the Bass: Megablast / Don't Make Me Wait
22. Salt 'n' Pepa: Shake Your Thang (It's Your Thing)
23. Brother Beyond: The Harder I Try
24. Alexander O'Neal: Fake '88
25. Bobby McFerrin: Don't Worry Be Happy
26. Jane Wiedlin: Rush Hour
27. Coldcut featuring Junior Reid: Stop This Crazy Thing
28. Bananarama: Love, Truth and Honesty
29. Hazell Dean: Turn It Into Love
30. Transvision Vamp: Revolution Baby
31. Michael Jackson: Another Part of Me
32. Bruce Springsteen: Tunnel of Love
33. Julio Iglesias featuring Stevie Wonder: My Love
34. Wee Papa Girl Rappers: Wee Rule
35. Belinda Carlisle: World Without You
36. Marc Almond: Tears Run Rings
37. T'Pau: Secret Garden
38. Sinitta: I Don't Believe in Miracles
39. Breathe: Hands to Heaven
40. Kylie Minogue: The Loco-Motion

~~~~~

Breakfast at the University of Sussex dining room. Everyone was tucking in to their eggs and sausages. My sister and I were pledging to stay in touch with the new friends we made at the exchange teachers conference - which we never did. At some point someone came in with an announcement.

"Ben Johnson won!"

Our table erupted - indeed, it felt as if the entire canteen suddenly exploded into cheers, even though there must have been more than a few apathetic Australians and Kiwis. Nevertheless, it seems appropriate that we were attending a Commonwealth exchange teacher's conference: Americans pretending to like Carl Lewis for the sake of another gold medal were conspicuous by their absence. The joyous news brought down the curtain on a fun and lively weekend in Brighton. Things were looking up.

At school the next day I was enjoying the status of no longer being from a country which my classmates knew nothing about. Ben Johnson, the world's fastest man, the man who ran the 100 meters in 9.79 seconds, was from Canada and so was I. So what if my school chums had never heard of The Frantics, Men Without Hats, Joe Nieuwendyk and Owen Hart?

That night I was getting ready for bed when was called down to the living room. My parents had the news on. There was a breaking report that a member of Canada's athletics team had tested positive for a banned substance. The news reader couldn't confirm if the guilty individual was Ben Johnson but they promised to keep viewers updated. I went to bed with the glum feeling that that's exactly what they'd be confirming - although it didn't stop me from lying in bed imaging that it was all a big mistake, that they mixed up his sample, that it was in fact a different Canadian sprinter.

"All Canadians use steroids!" was something I heard throughout the next day. The notoriety of having a famous Canadian had now been turned on its head. A day earlier Canada was the home to a man who destroyed the 100 meters; now, it was the country that produced the world's biggest drugs cheat. Suddenly I could see the appeal of everyone thinking I was American. Luckily, the negative publicity at school was already beginning to die down by the end of the day and we were beginning to make light of it (Mr. Basset, one of my P.E. teachers, made a crack about the positive test and then shot me a wry grin) By the end of the week it was all but forgotten.

(I have to say as an aside that I'm very disappointed in the total and utter lack of imagination in the above taunt. Surely my schoolmates could have come up with something more colourful like "Canada is moping cos Ben's been caught doping!" or "Steroid Ben! Steroid Ben! Lost himself the gold to cleaner men!" Not to mention the fact that one look at my then rake-thin body with its long, terribly awkward chicken legs should have disproved any notion whatever that Canada was a nation of juicers)

Three years ago I visited the Currency Museum of Korea in the city of Daejeon. On prominent display alongside a history of counterfeiting and a vast collection charmingly out-of-date banknotes from around the world was a glass case with commemorative coins from the 1988 Olympics in Seoul. Iconic images of the Games feature as well: one is of the lighting of the cauldron at the Opening Ceremonies; another shows the Korean women's archery team kickstarting their remarkable - and still ongoing - gold medal streak; and then there is Ben Johnson, his right arm aloft, his visage all business as usual, a dejected Carl Lewis in the background. I saw this in the display and couldn't believe my eyes: how could they have possibly wanted to use this picture to commemorate the legacy of what was then Korea's proudest moment. But they probably knew that this was a defining, iconic image of the Games. Official Olympic records may have tried to expunge Johnson from the record but curators in Daejeon knew better: this was a moment no one would ever forget - whether we'd like to or not.

~~~~~
young Paul's favorite: Domino Dancing
older Paul's retro pick: A Little Respect

18 September 1988: And If I Haver

1. The Hollies: He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother
2. Phil Collins: Groovy Kind of Love
3. Womack & Womack: Teardrops
4. Bill Withers: Lovely Day [sunshine mix]
5. Jason Donovan: Nothing Can Divide Us
6. Bros: I Quit
7. Yello: The Race
8. Inner City: Big Fun
9. Pet Shop Boys: Domino Dancing
10. Yazz & The Plastic Population: The Only Way Is Up
11. Gloria Estefan & Miami Sound Machine: Anything for You
12. The Proclaimers: I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)
13. Brother Beyond: The Harder I Try
14. Bomb the Bass: Megablast / Don't Make Me Wait
15. The Commodores: Easy
16. Rick Astley: She Wants to Dance with Me
17. Jane Wiedlin: Rush Hour
18. Bon Jovi: Bad Medicine
19. Michael Jackson: Another Part of Me
20. The Pasadenas: Riding on a Train
21. Coldcut featuring Junior Reid: Stop This Crazy Thing
22. Salt 'n' Pepa: Shake Your Thang (It's Your Thing)
23. Julio Iglesias featuring Stevie Wonder: My Love
24. Whitney Houston: One Moment in Time
25. Breathe: Hands to Heaven
26. Kylie Minogue: The Loco-Motion
27. a-ha: Touchy!
28. Marc Almond: Tears Run Rings
29. Spagna: Every Girl and Boy
30. Transvision Vamp: Revolution Baby
31. Bananarama: Love, Truth and Honesty
32. Bruce Springsteen: Spare Parts
33. Hazell Dean: Turn It Into Love
34. Belinda Carlisle: World Without You
35. BVSMP: I Need You
36. Level 42: Heaven in My Hands
37. Alexander O'Neal: Fake '88
38. Bill Medley: He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother
39. Guns N' Roses: Sweet Child O' Mine
40. The Wonder Stuff: It's Yer Money I'm After Baby

This week's chart survey is one I could have compiled reasonably adequately from my admittedly dispersed collection of cassettes and CD's. From He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother on Now That's What I Call Music 13 all the way down to It's Yer Money I'm After Baby on The Wonder Stuff's stupidly-titled best of If The Beatles Had Read Hunter, I've owned twenty-nine of the forty singles listed in one capacity or another. While plenty of these tracks were acquired much later (the aforementioned It's Yer Money, Springsteen's Spare Parts, which I've always considered the closest thing to filler on The Boss' otherwise flawless masterpiece Tunnel of Love), more and more of them I had become conscious of at the time. Almost all the holdovers from before we arrived have been purged from the charts.

This week's new chart entries make me wonder about how fleeting this level of success can be, even for established acts. It's probably safe to say that the triumvirate of Pet Shop Boys, Rick Astley and Bon Jovi were disappointed by their respective placements; all three had enjoyed worldwide hits over the previous year or two and had all released brand new singles that were expected to keep the party going. But if they were all disappointed by the relative failure of their releases, they shouldn't have been surprised: each number is a significant step down from previous heights.

Domino Dancing is considered a favourite among Pet Shop Boys' fans (although not so much this one; I liked it a lot at the time but now I think of it as a nice little time marker between their early batch of superb singles and their more mature, reflective period of their best work) but must have left the public feeling somewhat indifferent after their run of extraordinary chart toppers West End Girls, It's a Sin and Always on My Mind and its Latin grooves were somewhat out of step with the prevailing Acid House trends. Bad Medicine, on the other hand, is a song I've always thought of being popular among people who otherwise don't care much for Bon Jovi - but I may well be giving it too much credit in that regard. Metal enthusiasts likely saw through through the group's ham fisted attempt to return to a heavier sound and I've always considered Elvis Costello's remark that this is a terrific pop song to be something of a backhanded compliment. Finally, She Wants to Dance with Me was notable for being Rick Astley's first self-penned single but its pop textures were a clear step down from the Stock Aitken Waterman numbers that made his name a few months earlier. While similarly juvenile - the M.O. of the many, many SAW hits we would come across over this year - this was marked with a naivety that seemed to betray his supposed creative growth.

Still, they all moved on and continued to achieve success over the years (though not so much Rick Astley despite the short-lived Rickrolling phenomenon from a few years back). They just ceased to be seminal from there on in. Being at the top is fleeting.

I didn't think of it at the time but one of the benefits of being on exchange was occasionally getting pulled out of school to attend functions for teachers and their families. I had this get out of school free pass at least three times over the year: later there would be a Commonwealth Day service at Westminster Abbey with the Queen and a trip to Belfast but for now we were off to Brighton for an exchange teacher's conference at the University of Sussex. The fact that I'd be missing a dreary, tedious Friday - a not-as-much-fun-as-it-was-back-home P.E.; the sheer thrill of jotting down observations of boiling water in General Science; the tinge of resentment that this would be my fourth Maths class of the week; suspecting that French teacher Mr Oxenham was out to show the class that we was more proficient in the Language of Love than me; the utter pointlessness of being shouted at by the bitter Mr Pountney while flipping through an Asterix comic in Library - made it all the better.

But beyond the chance to get out of classes for a day, the trip to Brighton gave my sister and me a chance to meet other kids who were going through many of the same experiences as us. There were many exchange club outings and trips to come and we'd meet kids at almost all of them but I have to say that this first batch expat exchange kids (along with the one that followed shortly after when we went to a Medieval experience in Colchester) was the best group we'd encounter.

With respect to Tim, his sister whose name escapes me, Alison and Jessica, however, it was probably more to do with the circumstances than the individuals themselves. The term at Mayflower was in just its third week and it was nice to compare notes with some kids who were going through very much the same type of baptism by fire that we were. We could all wax about friends and places we missed back home and feel reassured that they understood our situation just as much as we understood their's. 

These were the first of the fleeting friends we'd make. Previously, I wrote about meeting Chris and Sam and feeling relieved that I had forged friendships in just the first few days of our time in England; only later did I realise that these were temporary ententes. And so it was here in Brighton, only it never occurred to me that these were similarly fleeting. Perhaps we'd see Tim and his family at an exchange event in a few weeks; maybe we'd bump into Alison and Jessica in London or Scotland at some point. Plus, I was really hitting it off with these people. Tim and I got up to some mischief in the campus dining room and I began to fancy Jessica: of course I was going to see them again! (As it turned out, we'd never see Tim and his sister again - although I'm pretty sure they stayed at our place while we were away for Easter and we saw Alison and Jessica just once more when we were just weeks away from returning to Canada)

That Saturday night I went to bed in the University of Sussex residence. It was nice having a room to myself for once. Looking out my window, I waved good night to Alison and Jessica. I thought about 1988 Olympics and if Ben Johnson could win the 100 meters race. Speaking of fleeting...

~~~~~
young Paul's favorite: Domino Dancing
older Paul's retro pick: Big Fun

11 September 1988: Most of My Friends Were Strangers When I Met Them

1. Phil Collins: Groovy Kind of Love
2. The Hollies: He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother
3. Womack & Womack: Teardrops
4. Bros: I Quit
5. Brother Beyond: The Harder I Try
6. Bill Withers: Lovely Day [sunshine mix]
7. Yazz & The Plastic Population: The Only Way Is Up
8. Yello: The Race
9. Bomb the Bass: Megablast / Don't Make Me Wait
10. Gloria Estefan & Miami Sound Machine: Anything for You
11. Julio Iglesias featuring Stevie Wonder: My Love
12. Jane Wiedlin: Rush Hour
13. Jason Donovan: Nothing Can Divide Us
14. The Proclaimers: I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)
15. Michael Jackson: Another Part of Me
16. Breathe: Hands to Heaven
17. The Commodores: Easy
18. Kylie Minogue: The Loco-Motion
19. a-ha: Touchy!
20. Inner City: Big Fun
21. Level 42: Heaven in My Hands
22. Salt 'n' Pepa: Shake Your Thang (It's Your Thing)
23. Spagna: Every Girl and Boy
24. BVSMP: I Need You
25. Coldcut featuring Junior Reid: Stop This Crazy Thing
26. Marc Almond: Tears Run Rings
27. Bill Medley: He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother
28. Anthrax: Make Me Laugh
29. The Pasadenas: Riding on a Train
30. Guns N' Roses: Sweet Child O' Mine
31. Fairground Attraction: Find My Love
32. Tanita Tikaram: Good Tradition
33. UB40: Where Did I Go Wrong?
34. Kim Wilde: You Came
35. Status Quo: Running All Over the World
36. The Primitives: Way Behind Me
37. Transvision Vamp: Revolution Baby
38. Robbie Robertson: Somewhere Down the Crazy River
39. Belinda Carlisle: World Without You
40. The Mac Band: Stalemate

~~~~~

Mondays	Tuesdays	Wednesdays	Thursdays	Fridays
English	English	General History	French	P.E.
Maths	Drama	English	Music	General Science
Geography	General Science	Maths	Maths	Maths
Home Economics	Art & Design	P.E.	I.P.	French
Religious Studies	French	C.D.T.	General Science	Library

         
"So, what did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, we drove out to Stonehenge on Saturday and then visited Street and Cheddar. Then on Sunday we took the train into London and visited Tower Bridge and then we took the ferry to Greenwich."

"Blimey! What are you going to do for the rest of the year?"

This was a conversation that took place between my dad and one of his colleagues in the Maths department on Monday, September 12th. I wasn't a part of this exchange but it has been told and retold to me over the years enough that I feel as if I had been there. (And, for the record, I have no idea if my dad's co-worker actually said "blimey", I just felt one was called for) It seems that some believed we had already begun to tap English tourist spots dry; the more perceptive, however, might note the visits paid to the Somerset villages of Street and Cheddar: as sure a sign as any that we were going to visit as much of this country as possible, whether there was anything to see there or not. (Notably, this would also be the closest I'd ever come to going to Glastonbury)

This was my first full week at school. Coming from an elementary school that typically divided the day between English in the morning and French in the afternoon - with the occasional Phys Ed period or trip up to the Math Lab thrown in - it was quite an adjustment to suddenly have fifteen different classes. All through that baptism by fire that was the first week I'd been fretting that I'd be late, that the distance between classrooms would conspire with the scant amount of time between classes - even with morning and afternoon playtimes accounted for. As it turned out, my only experience with tardiness ended up working out for the best.


Dreary Monday afternoons began with Home Economics on the top floor of a three or four story building. That finished, we had to trudge down the stairs for afternoon playtime, only to have to go up a separate set a stairs in the same building in order to get to our Religious Studies class, itself on the top floor. Not paying attention to details, I went up the wrong set of stairs to get to R.E. only to discover I was heading back up to the Home Ec. department. But I wasn't alone: a quiet ginger boy of average height from my form room was also going up the wrong way. Conferring, we realised that none of our other classmates was around and that we must have gone the wrong way. We turned around and dashed down the stairs, only to race up the correct flights. We were dreading a bollocking and our panic only increased as we got close to the top floor and heard a terrible shriek. We looked at each other and braced ourselves for trouble. Luckily, it wasn't directed at us but at everyone else who had the nerve to show up on time! Apparently, our classmates showed up to an empty classroom and decided to enter and take their seats and Miss Wickens didn't appreciate such eagerness. Just as we were showing up everyone else we exiting the room as punishment. We avoided getting in trouble by  being late: a bizarro world occurrence if there ever was one. Sean and I delighted in our fecklessness turning into some good luck and, thus, a friendship was formed.

Other chums came about, albeit in far less memorable fashion. Two days of sitting next to the highly perverted Colin in form room proving to be more than enough, I asked the round-faced, brunette-but-sporting-freckles Richard if I could sit with him instead. Richard possessed a wicked, cutting tongue that could regale and appall me in equal turns. And we talked a lot about music. Soon, we began eating lunch in the courtyard surrounded by the library, our music class and the dining room's poor cousin, the galley. Sean began joining us too.

One lunch break the three of us were sat on a bench in the courtyard when we were met with a small boy with blondish hair and a disgruntled visage. Neil told of us of how fed up he was of some of the other boys in our class and wondered if he could join us. Now we were a foursome. Neil, Richard and Sean would be my closest friends for the rest of the year.

The Thursday of this week I tuned into Top of the Pops for the first time. I don't recall how I got into it. The Australian soap Neighbours was still relatively new and something everyone was talking about and, therefore, something that wasn't going to escape me for long; TOTP, on the other hand, was a venerable institution, one that was regularly lambasted by critics for its lip-synching pop stars. I doubt anyone bothered to recommend it to me given how everyone must have taken it for granted. My sister caught it a week earlier and told be about seeing the porcupine-cropped Italian signer Spagna and I probably couldn't resist something so tempting. The performers that week were nothing special (The Proclaimers doubtless looked like sexy, macho rock 'n' roll gods next to the likes of Phil Collins and The Hollies) but the format of gradually running down the Top 40 with video clips spliced in appealed to me. To go along with a group of friends that would remain, I now had a music show that I would never fail to tune in to. I was beginning to feel at home.

Before closing I should bring up that this is likely the last week on the listings for Robbie Robertson's unique but not nearly as good as I remember it being Somewhere Down the Crazy River. As we were still largely ignorant of the music scene at the time, my Canada-deprived family was unaware that there was a compatriot in the top 40 for the first few weeks of our time in England. Had it entered the charts just a few weeks later it would have been a source of pride among us. In the weeks and months ahead we would get excited at the mere hint of our country being referenced on TV or if we happened to notice a Canadian flag flying outside a large London hotel. So much for feeling at home...

~~~~~
young Paul's favorite: another cringe-inducing week of Nothing Can Divide Us, I really hope a pair of musical heroes of mine comes along to displace it
older Paul's retro pick: Big Fun

4 September 1988: Hold Your Head Up High and Let Everybody See

1. Phil Collins: Groovy Kind of Love
2. Brother Beyond: The Harder I Try
3. Yazz & The Plastic Population: The Only Way Is Up
4. Womack & Womack: Teardrops
5. The Hollies: He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother
6. Bomb the Bass: Megablast / Don't Make Me Wait
7. Julio Iglesias featuring Stevie Wonder: My Love
8. Yello: The Race
9. Kylie Minogue: The Loco-Motion
10. Breathe: Hands to Heaven
11. a-ha: Touchy!
12. Level 42: Heaven in My Hands
13. Jane Wiedlin: Rush Hour
14. BVSMP: I Need You
15. Gloria Estefan & Miami Sound Machine: Anything for You
16. Michael Jackson: Another Part of Me
17. Tanita Tikaram: Good Tradition
18. Fairground Attraction: Find My Love
19. The Proclaimers: I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)
20. The Commodores: Easy
21. Bill Withers: Lovely Day [sunshine mix]
22. Kim Wilde: You Came
23. Spagna: Every Girl and Boy
24. Guns 'N Roses: Sweet Child O' Mine
25. Bill Medley: He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother
26. Anthrax: Make Me Laugh
27. UB40: Where Did I Go Wrong?
28. Marc Almond: Tears Run Rings
29. Robbie Robertson: Somewhere Down the Crazy River
30. Status Quo: Running All Over the World
31. Inner City: Big Fun
32. Metallica: Harvester of Sorrow
33. Coldcut featuring Junior Reid: Stop This Crazy Thing
34. Big Country: King of Emotion
35. S'Express: Superfly Guy
36. Salt 'n' Pepa: Shake Your Thang (It's Your Thing)
37. Jason Donovan: Nothing Can Divide Us
38. Natalie Cole: Jump Start
39. Donny Osmond: Soldier of Love
40. Chris Rea: On the Beach ['88 remix]

~~~~~

"Dad! How do you tie a tie?"

So now we come to my first day at Mayflower Comprehensive - and, with it, a brand new chart topper. Yazz's reign had come to an end, having to make room for the Phil Collins slush-fest Groovy Kind of Love from the movie Buster. It didn't occur to me at the time but was the significance of an optimistic summer anthem being displaced by a bland, middle-aged love song not lost on kids as they were glumly heading back to school? After-all the charts are supposed to reflect the times we live in so why not usher in September with a number one that perfectly - if unintentionally - captures the misery of being back at school? Of course this is all pure coincidence but it's important to point out that Groovy Kind of Love seemed to kick start a trend of more MOR-style number ones. (That said, the infectious yet understated grooves of Womack & Womack's almost bluntly adult Teardrops, which had just moved into the Top 3 after a steady climb, stand in stark contrast to a new entry by a young star of the megahit soap Neighbours; Jason Donovan's naive and badly-sung Nothing Can Divide Us was for some unfathomable reason a big favourite of my over the next couple weeks while I couldn't have cared less about Teardorps) It will be quite some time before we get something even moderately current topping the charts, let alone something genuinely thrilling; the best thing I can say about most of the number ones for the remainder of 1988 is "meh".

In that spirit, September was underway and I had my first day of school. Going back to school is typically a depressing event but this year I was more terrified than anything else: I would be attending a new school, with kids I didn't know, wearing a suit and tie, all of which in a foreign country. The school itself was massive, seemingly more like a university campus than a high school. It in fact wouldn't be long before I began taking pride in Mayflower's size, what with its swimming pool, multiple gymnasiums, two cafeterias and numerous buildings. It may sound like I'm simply exaggerating its enormity in retrospect but I exaggerated my new school's scale at the time as well.

Tuesday the 6th was my first day of school. The drive from Laindon to Billericay was long enough to make me feel more nervous and anxious than I already was. We arrived and dad left me in a square with a number of other first year boys; none looked especially nervous or anxious. I thought about how my friends back home were starting grade 6 and, thus, were the big boys of elementary school; I, on the other hand, was back at the bottom of the pecking order - the fact that there were many others who were in the same boat as me failed provide me with the coldest of comforts.

"C'mon, you lot!" My daydreaming was interrupted by the brash Mr. Lawrence. The man walked with swagger and forcefulness; he was the type who inspired a level of intimidation that you could sometimes confuse for awe. He could rub some people the wrong way and he practically dared students to cause trouble while he was present - but he was also pragmatic enough to know that kids need to be preoccupied, particularly first year boys. And that's why he was there: he was taking it upon himself to show us where to catch the bus. Uninterested, Lawrence's forceful personality convinced me to come along.

"You aw'right?" a boy of a about half my size asked me. We were standing at the school bus stop and he must have noticed that something was amiss. Feeling scared and lonely, I'm sure my face gave me away. Fraser introduced himself and his mates. No sooner did I begin to speak than I was greeted with a query from one of these lads: "You Amer-ee-can?"

This was a question that would hear all-too-often during the course of the next year, one that would never fail to irk my sensitive Canadian soul. But here it was a sign of friendship. It mattered little to this gaggle that I wasn't Amer-ee-can and it mattered little to me, I was just happy to have some boys to talk to. We were led to a classroom where we were told to wait. In the meantime, I basked in the attention I was receiving, the scant knowledge I'd picked up over the last two weeks about Neighbours and Bros coming in mighty handy.

We were then led to an assembly where we were placed in our houses and form rooms. My new chums - wouldn't you know it? - got placed in Frye house and I was left alone. I got placed in Lister and formed a queue with my new classmates. Led to our form room, I took a seat by the window and scanned the room: I wondered who these kids were and if I was going to be friends with any of them. Miss Mitchell, our form room teacher, took attendance and just like that I was exposed. I soon began to feel sorry for my classmates during the course of that first week: between our form room and all our individual classes, they got to hear me tell the story of being from Canada and having a dad in the Maths department who was on exchange about fifteen times! I certainly got sick of telling this to each of our teachers and I'm sure they all got pretty sick of hearing it.

Introductions and information about our classes and something called a homework diary out of the way, we had playtime, something I'd always called "recess". I spent a fair amount of time looking for Fraser and his gang.  Once I did manage to find him, we traded information about our classes and form teachers before the bell rang commanding us to return to our classes. Almost instantaneously, everyone disappeared and I suddenly had no idea

Soon after playtime, we were ushered to our first class: General Science. Not a big favourite of mine during this year - conveniently getting me into the swing of resentfully having to take years of compulsory science classes by doing as little as humanly possible - this introductory class passed by painlessly enough although it did result in my first encounter with a geographically confused classmate:

"So, 'ave you been t' Disneywuld?" Joanne quizzed me.

"No," I replied, shaking my head.

"Well, 'ave you been t' Disneyland?"

"No, I haven't been there either," I responded, almost regretfullly.

"So, where 'ave you been in Amer-ee-ca?"

"Nowhere really. We once took a day trip to Montana but..."

"I fought you said you were Amer-ee-can!"

"Canadian!" I shot back.

"Ah well, it's the same thing anyway," she said. Joanne looked away: she was done making my acquaintance.

The rest of the day went by without too much trouble. In Art and Design, Mrs. Templeton insisted I come up to the front of the class to fill out my name that had been left off the class role - as it would prove to be in all fifteen of my classes. I'd never heard the terms "surname" and "Christian name" before, as I would prove by getting them exactly wrong - much to the visible consternation of the persnickety teacher. French finished off our first day, giving me my first taste of the easiest class I would ever take.

And that was that. I met up with my dad and we headed back home to Laindon. I slouched in my seat, rolled down the window and sighed. No longer of use, I promptly removed my tie - taking it off proving a far simpler task than putting it on.

~~~~~
young Paul's favourite: Nothing Can Divide Us and god only knows why
older Paul's retro pick: still going with Megablast / Don't Make Me Wait, although I reckon its days are numbered